Having a female friend can bring many good things into your life. You can go to her for inside advice when the inner workings of your girlfriend’s mind are making you crazy. You can spend the evening with her when you aren’t in the mood for testosterone-fuelled competition. She will be there for you when you need someone to talk to. Unfortunately, having a woman as a friend can also cause plenty of discord -- especially in your relationship with your girlfriend. How can you maintain a friendship with someone of the opposite sex while preserving the harmony in your romantic relationship?
Defensible female friends
There are some girls that you can have as friends without your girlfriend being able to justifiably complain about it. She might grumble about it, but she’ll have no ground to stand on. These women include those you were friends with before you got together with your girlfriend and those who are clearly in happy, stable relationships of their own. She also shouldn’t have a leg to stand on if she tries to bitch about a female friend that you are obviously not attracted to physically.
Female friends that are tougher to defend
On the other hand, there are some women you might want to have in your life that are understandably unacceptable to your girlfriend. If you have fooled around with your female friend in the past, it’s not difficult to see how that might bother your girlfriend. Ditto for the girl who has a questionable reputation. If your female friend has been known to go for attached guys, your girlfriend has a right to be suspicious. Finally, if your girlfriend genuinely dislikes your female friend -- for reasons other than the facts that she’s a girl and she’s friends with you -- you might want to take her opinion into account.
What you can do with your female friend
There are some activities you can do with your female friend that shouldn’t be threatening to your girlfriend. Your girlfriend will feel much more comfortable with you going out for drinks if you do it man-style. Don’t go to a quiet wine bar where the atmosphere is romantic; instead, take your female friend to a loud pub and pound back some beers like she’s just one of the guys. As far as conversation topics go, talking about your mutual past with your female friend is allowed, but try not to do it too much in front of your girlfriend or she’ll start to feel left out. Take part in hobbies or interests that you and your female friend have in common and that your girlfriend isn’t into. It’s always a good idea to keep your time spent with your female friend in a group situation or at least in a public place.
Are sleepovers OK? Find out what you can't do with your female friend next
What you can’t do with your female friends
In order to keep your relationship with your girlfriend steady and trouble-free, there are some activities that you should never do with your female friend. No. 1: absolutely no sleepovers. It doesn’t matter if you’re drunk, if there’s a storm outside or if she needs company after a breakup, there is no reason you should spend the night at your female friend’s house -- even if you sleep on the couch. Also, avoid date-like, full-evening plans (like dinner and a movie) in order to keep the atmosphere platonic. You should never choose to spend special occasions like holidays with your female friend instead of your girlfriend. Acting as a fill-in date for your friend for a wedding or office party is also a no-no. Basically, there shouldn’t be any aspect to your interactions that could force people to assume you’re dating.
2009-06-25
7 Types Of Men Women Can't Resist
Have you ever wondered why some guys have all the luck when it comes to women? It's no secret that certain archetypal males have been proven over and over to be irresistible to women -- and it's not simply because of their good looks or a well-defined six pack. The truth is that women tend to be attracted to certain personality traits and so, naturally, they flock to the men who possess them. Below are seven of these "ideal types" of men that women are drawn to, and an explanation as to why these men are so appealing. But don't freak out or permanently alter your personality if you don't fit into any of these categories exactly -- women will see right through that. Ideally, you should exude some traits from each of these different categories; in fact, you probably already do. With a quick perusal of the list below, you should be in much better shape to understand what women are looking for, and most importantly, to make sure that you fit the bill.
1. The Romantic Guy
He believes in classic romance. He is constantly bringing her flowers and chocolate and lighting candles during dinner. He calls her often to let her know he is thinking about her and looks into her eyes and tells her how he feels. Why he is so irresistible: A woman loves to feel appreciated, and the romantic guy makes this happen. He uses romantic gestures to show her he is thinking about her. As an added bonus, she feels free to reciprocate and act on her own romantic tendencies.
2. The Confident Guy
He is totally secure and sure of himself. He is assertive in public and gives off an aura of power and control (within reason of course, as the "cocky guy" is not on this list). In a relationship, he doesn't get jealous of other men; he doesn't feel threatened by his girlfriend's male friends or co-workers. Why he is so irresistible: Women are attracted to confident men. Consider this: If you think you are great, she will probably be influenced to think the same. The confident man doesn't seek approval from women, and this makes them want him even more.
3. The Artistic Guy
The artistic guy is spontaneous and lives for the moment. Often, he will use his creativity to woo her, such as with a song he has written about her or a painting he has made for her. Why he is so irresistible: Every woman wants to feel unique and special. There is no better way to make her feel this way than to use her as your muse or your source of inspiration. She is intrigued by the artistic guy's creative mind and especially by the way he incorporates her into his art. Charismatic, rebellious, smart, and considerate men all get the girl
4. The Foreign Guy
He comes from a faraway exotic country; he might have a cute accent or a unique way of seeing the world. His social customs and everyday behaviour can be a little quirky, but he always manages to come off as uniquely charming. Note that you don't have to actually be foreign to fit into this category. If you are well-travelled or speak many languages, you might be able to pull off the charm as well as any sweet-talking foreigner. Why he is so irresistible: Charisma, charisma and charisma. There's not much more I can say about this one; it's just that mysterious je ne sais quoi that is so alluring. Women often choose this kind of guy if they are curious about the world, but most of the appeal comes down to a fascination with dating someone from another culture.
5. The Free Spirit Guy (aka the Bad Boy)
The free spirit guy goes where the wind takes him -- and the wind usually takes him on some kind of wacky adventure. He might ride a motorcycle, or he might skip work to take her on a last-minute road trip, but this guy doesn't worry too much about the consequences; he just sees where his own devices take him.
Why he is so irresistible: Every woman wants a bit of a rebel (within reason, of course). She loves his carefree attitude and hopes that it will rub off on her too. The bad boy spirit adds an element of youthfulness to the relationship and she loves to try taming him -- although she knows she'll never actually succeed.
6. The Intelligent/Witty Guy
He instigates conversations that are intellectually stimulating and listens to what she has to say in response. He makes her laugh with his clever sense of humour and could make a conversation about Gordon Brown seem interesting. He can shoot the breeze with her for hours and it will never get boring. Why he is so irresistible: As time goes on, your hairline may recede and your buff body may soften, but if you can keep her interested, you've won half the battle. An intellectual connection is a big part of what sustains a relationship and if you can show her that you've got that, she'll be hooked pretty quickly.
7. The Considerate Guy
He holds open her car door and pulls out her chair. He foots the bill for dinner and makes sure to offer her dessert. He always asks her out with reasonable notice and picks her up at her door. He is generally sensitive to how she is feeling and when she is ready to go home. Why he is so irresistible: Surprised? You probably think that nice, considerate guys never get the woman, but consider this: Once a woman has gone through her share of the bad guy, the rude guy and the not-calling-her-back guy, she will likely re-evaluate her priorities. It takes a bit of maturity on her part to realise this, but eventually most girls come around and realise that they want a guy who will treat them well in the long run.
a word of caution
The key to success here is to keep in mind why women like the character traits outlined above and what kind of gestures they appreciate. Then, mix them up and see which of these traits and gestures you are most comfortable with. With just a little bit of effort, you'll be able to find more than a few irresistible qualities within yourself -- and accordingly, she'll be easily wooed by your newfound individuality.
2009-06-23
2009-06-22
Interview Questions you must never Ask
What is an illegal Question?
Illegal interview questions refer to those questions asked during an interview that may be used to discriminate against an interviewee. It is important to be aware of what questions are illegal before you start an interview. In most cases, personal questions not related to job performance can be illegal interview questions, as they can be used to discriminate on the basis of a person's age, place of origin, birth place, etc.
If a candidate does not answer any illegal interview questions, you should not hold it against him, because it is his right.
And remember: The act of asking these questions is not illegal. But to reject someone on the basis of the answers provided is illegal. It could expose you to a possible law suit if the applicant is rejected and feels that it was due to that issue.
Personal Questions
Relatives Marital Status
Example:
Unlawful Inquiries: Whether the applicant is married, divorced, separated, engaged, widowed, etc. "What is your marital status?", if over 18 "What is the name of relative/spouse/children?", "With whom do you reside?", "Do you live with your parents?", "How old are your children?"
Lawful Inquiries: "What are the names of relatives already employed by the company or a competitor?", other than that specific question, NONE.
Pregnancy
Example:
Unlawful Inquiries: All questions relating to pregnancy and medical history concerning pregnancy. "Do you plan on having more children?"
Lawful Inquiries: Inquiries to a duration of stay on a job or anticipated absences which are made to males and females alike. "Do you foresee any long term absences in the future?"
Residence
Example:
Unlawful Inquiries: Names or relationship of persons with whom applicant resides. Whether applicant owns or rents a home.
"Do you live in town?"
Lawful Inquiries: Inquiries about address to the extent needed to facilitate contacting the applicant. (A post office box is a valid address.) "Will you have problems getting to work at 9am?" is also legal.
Physical Health
Example:
Unlawful Inquiries: Over general questions ("Do you have any handicaps?") which would tend to divulge handicaps or health conditions which do not relate reasonably to fitness to perform the job. "What caused your handicap?", "What is the prognosis of your handicap?", Have you ever had any serious illness?", "Do you have any physical disabilities?"
Lawful Inquiries: "Can you lift 40 lbs?", "Do you need any special accommodations to perform the job you've applied for?", "How many days did you miss from work (or school) in the past year?" The questions have to relate to the job.
Family
Example:
Unlawful Inquiries: Questions concerning spouse, or spouse's employment, salary, child care, arrangements, or dependents. "How will your husband feel about the amount of time you will be travelling if you get this job?", "What kind of childcare arrangements have you made?"
Lawful Inquiries: Whether applicant can meet specified work schedules or has activities or commitments that may prevent him or her from meeting attendance requirements. "Can you work overtime?", "Is there any reason why you can't be on the job at 7:30 am?"
Sex
Example:
Unlawful Inquiries: Any inquiry. "Do you wish to be addressed as Mr., Mrs., Miss, or Ms.?" or ANY inquiry as to sex such as "Do you have the capacity to reproduce?", "What are your plans to have children in the future?"
Lawful Inquiries: None
Arrests & Convictions
Example:
Unlawful Inquiries: All inquiries relating to arrests. "Have you ever been arrested?" (Note: Arrests are NOT the same as convictions. An innocent person can be arrested, remember.)
Lawful Inquiries: None relating to arrests. Legal inquiries about convictions are: "Have you ever been convicted of any crime? If so, when, where and disposition of case. "Have you ever been convicted under criminal law within the past five years (excluding minor traffic violations)?" It is permissible to inquire about convictions for acts of dishonesty or breach of trust. These relate to fitness to perform the particular job being applied for, as stipulated by FDIC requirements.
Birthplace and religion
Let's now look at some illegal interview questions. Inquiries into a person's birthplace are illegal. Also asking a person's religious affiliation is illegal, or asking about religious customs and ceremonies.
Example:
Unlawful Inquiries: Any question that directly or INDIRECTLY relates to a religion. "What religious holidays to you observe?", "What is your religious affiliation?"
Lawful Inquiries: None except "Can you work on Saturdays?", and that only if it relevant to the job.
Disability
If an individual's disability does not hinder job performance, it is not permissible to dismiss the person for that reason.
Age...height or weight
It is illegal to ask for age, but it is ok to ask for a confirmation of age after hiring. Illegal interview questions include asking about a person's height or weight. However you can ask if a person is able to lift a certain amount of weight necessary for job performance.
Example:
Unlawful Inquiries: Any questions that tends to identify applicants age 40 or older.
Lawful Inquiries: "Are you 18 years of age?", "If hired, can you furnish proof of age?"
Race or color
Asking about a person's race or color is also illegal. Exceptions hold for employment records for an equal opportunity employer and for affricative action status, after hiring.
Example:
Unlawful Inquiries: Any question that directly OR INDIRECTLY relates to a race or color.
Lawful Inquiries: None
Citizenship
Example:
Unlawful Inquiries: Whether an applicant is a citizen. Requiring a birth certificate, naturalization or baptismal certificate. Any inquiry into citizenship would tend to divulge applicant's lineage, descent, etc.
* "Are you a citizen of the US?"
* "Are your parents or spouse citizens of the US?"
* "On what dates did you , your parents or your spouse acquire US Citizenship?"
* "Are you, your parents or your spouse naturalized or native-born US citizens?"
Lawful Inquiries: Whether applicant is prevented from lawfully employed in this country because of visa or immigration requirements. Whether applicant can provide proof of citizenship (passport), visa, alien registration number after hiring. "If you are not a US citizen, do you have the legal right to remain permanently in the US?", "What is your visa status (if no to the previous question.)", Are you able to provide proof of employment eligibility upon hire?"
National Origin/Ancestry
Example:
Unlawful Inquiries: Everything. "What is your nationality?", "How did you acquire the ability to speak, read or write a foreign language?", "How did you acquire familiarity with a foreign country?", "What language is spoken in your home?", "What is your mother tongue?"
Lawful Inquiries: "What languages do you speak, read or write fluently". This is only legal when the inquiry is based on a job requirement.
And remember this...
The questions do not necessarily have to be asked in a direct fashion to be illegal interview questions.
Some questions may be illegal based on the reason they were asked.
For example it is legal to ask if the applicant is fluent in another language if it is relevant to the job.
However it should not be asked if it is not relevant to the job and is used to gain information about a person's nationality or place of birth.
Avoiding illegal interview questions avoid the chances of a candidate being discriminated against. Also it can save you from possible law suits.
This article applies to the USA. Most countries now hold similar laws but check for further details
If unsure, always seek professional legal advice
This is just a guide and not intended as legal advice. Neither the author nor publisher is engaged in rendering legal services. Please see an attorney for legal advice. Because laws vary by state and are subject to change at the Federal level, neither the author nor publisher guarantees the accuracy of this information. Should you act based on this information, you do so at your sole risk. Neither the author nor publisher shall have any liability arising from your decision to act on this information.
Illegal interview questions refer to those questions asked during an interview that may be used to discriminate against an interviewee. It is important to be aware of what questions are illegal before you start an interview. In most cases, personal questions not related to job performance can be illegal interview questions, as they can be used to discriminate on the basis of a person's age, place of origin, birth place, etc.
If a candidate does not answer any illegal interview questions, you should not hold it against him, because it is his right.
And remember: The act of asking these questions is not illegal. But to reject someone on the basis of the answers provided is illegal. It could expose you to a possible law suit if the applicant is rejected and feels that it was due to that issue.
Personal Questions
Relatives Marital Status
Example:
Unlawful Inquiries: Whether the applicant is married, divorced, separated, engaged, widowed, etc. "What is your marital status?", if over 18 "What is the name of relative/spouse/children?", "With whom do you reside?", "Do you live with your parents?", "How old are your children?"
Lawful Inquiries: "What are the names of relatives already employed by the company or a competitor?", other than that specific question, NONE.
Pregnancy
Example:
Unlawful Inquiries: All questions relating to pregnancy and medical history concerning pregnancy. "Do you plan on having more children?"
Lawful Inquiries: Inquiries to a duration of stay on a job or anticipated absences which are made to males and females alike. "Do you foresee any long term absences in the future?"
Residence
Example:
Unlawful Inquiries: Names or relationship of persons with whom applicant resides. Whether applicant owns or rents a home.
"Do you live in town?"
Lawful Inquiries: Inquiries about address to the extent needed to facilitate contacting the applicant. (A post office box is a valid address.) "Will you have problems getting to work at 9am?" is also legal.
Physical Health
Example:
Unlawful Inquiries: Over general questions ("Do you have any handicaps?") which would tend to divulge handicaps or health conditions which do not relate reasonably to fitness to perform the job. "What caused your handicap?", "What is the prognosis of your handicap?", Have you ever had any serious illness?", "Do you have any physical disabilities?"
Lawful Inquiries: "Can you lift 40 lbs?", "Do you need any special accommodations to perform the job you've applied for?", "How many days did you miss from work (or school) in the past year?" The questions have to relate to the job.
Family
Example:
Unlawful Inquiries: Questions concerning spouse, or spouse's employment, salary, child care, arrangements, or dependents. "How will your husband feel about the amount of time you will be travelling if you get this job?", "What kind of childcare arrangements have you made?"
Lawful Inquiries: Whether applicant can meet specified work schedules or has activities or commitments that may prevent him or her from meeting attendance requirements. "Can you work overtime?", "Is there any reason why you can't be on the job at 7:30 am?"
Sex
Example:
Unlawful Inquiries: Any inquiry. "Do you wish to be addressed as Mr., Mrs., Miss, or Ms.?" or ANY inquiry as to sex such as "Do you have the capacity to reproduce?", "What are your plans to have children in the future?"
Lawful Inquiries: None
Arrests & Convictions
Example:
Unlawful Inquiries: All inquiries relating to arrests. "Have you ever been arrested?" (Note: Arrests are NOT the same as convictions. An innocent person can be arrested, remember.)
Lawful Inquiries: None relating to arrests. Legal inquiries about convictions are: "Have you ever been convicted of any crime? If so, when, where and disposition of case. "Have you ever been convicted under criminal law within the past five years (excluding minor traffic violations)?" It is permissible to inquire about convictions for acts of dishonesty or breach of trust. These relate to fitness to perform the particular job being applied for, as stipulated by FDIC requirements.
Birthplace and religion
Let's now look at some illegal interview questions. Inquiries into a person's birthplace are illegal. Also asking a person's religious affiliation is illegal, or asking about religious customs and ceremonies.
Example:
Unlawful Inquiries: Any question that directly or INDIRECTLY relates to a religion. "What religious holidays to you observe?", "What is your religious affiliation?"
Lawful Inquiries: None except "Can you work on Saturdays?", and that only if it relevant to the job.
Disability
If an individual's disability does not hinder job performance, it is not permissible to dismiss the person for that reason.
Age...height or weight
It is illegal to ask for age, but it is ok to ask for a confirmation of age after hiring. Illegal interview questions include asking about a person's height or weight. However you can ask if a person is able to lift a certain amount of weight necessary for job performance.
Example:
Unlawful Inquiries: Any questions that tends to identify applicants age 40 or older.
Lawful Inquiries: "Are you 18 years of age?", "If hired, can you furnish proof of age?"
Race or color
Asking about a person's race or color is also illegal. Exceptions hold for employment records for an equal opportunity employer and for affricative action status, after hiring.
Example:
Unlawful Inquiries: Any question that directly OR INDIRECTLY relates to a race or color.
Lawful Inquiries: None
Citizenship
Example:
Unlawful Inquiries: Whether an applicant is a citizen. Requiring a birth certificate, naturalization or baptismal certificate. Any inquiry into citizenship would tend to divulge applicant's lineage, descent, etc.
* "Are you a citizen of the US?"
* "Are your parents or spouse citizens of the US?"
* "On what dates did you , your parents or your spouse acquire US Citizenship?"
* "Are you, your parents or your spouse naturalized or native-born US citizens?"
Lawful Inquiries: Whether applicant is prevented from lawfully employed in this country because of visa or immigration requirements. Whether applicant can provide proof of citizenship (passport), visa, alien registration number after hiring. "If you are not a US citizen, do you have the legal right to remain permanently in the US?", "What is your visa status (if no to the previous question.)", Are you able to provide proof of employment eligibility upon hire?"
National Origin/Ancestry
Example:
Unlawful Inquiries: Everything. "What is your nationality?", "How did you acquire the ability to speak, read or write a foreign language?", "How did you acquire familiarity with a foreign country?", "What language is spoken in your home?", "What is your mother tongue?"
Lawful Inquiries: "What languages do you speak, read or write fluently". This is only legal when the inquiry is based on a job requirement.
And remember this...
The questions do not necessarily have to be asked in a direct fashion to be illegal interview questions.
Some questions may be illegal based on the reason they were asked.
For example it is legal to ask if the applicant is fluent in another language if it is relevant to the job.
However it should not be asked if it is not relevant to the job and is used to gain information about a person's nationality or place of birth.
Avoiding illegal interview questions avoid the chances of a candidate being discriminated against. Also it can save you from possible law suits.
This article applies to the USA. Most countries now hold similar laws but check for further details
If unsure, always seek professional legal advice
This is just a guide and not intended as legal advice. Neither the author nor publisher is engaged in rendering legal services. Please see an attorney for legal advice. Because laws vary by state and are subject to change at the Federal level, neither the author nor publisher guarantees the accuracy of this information. Should you act based on this information, you do so at your sole risk. Neither the author nor publisher shall have any liability arising from your decision to act on this information.
訂閱：
意見 (Atom)
